• Behavior
  • Health
  • Parenting

Prepare to talk to your child about sex well before the teen years

  • Posted
iStock-535116599

In this article, you’ll find answers to questions like:

1. Why dive in early?
2. What's the best approach?
3. How to ease those talks?

As the experts at KidsHealth point out, you know your children best.

For example, you’ll notice when they start telling sexual jokes or when they become concerned with their personal appearance. This is a good time to jump in with questions, such as:

  • Are you noticing changes in your body?
  • Are you having strange feelings?
  • Are you sad sometimes and don't know why?

1. WHY DIVE IN EARLY?

An annual physical exam is a great time to talk about this. A doctor can tell your pre-adolescent — and you — what to expect in the next few years. An exam can be a catalyst for a good parent-child discussion. The later you wait to broach these talks, the more likely your child will form misconceptions or become apprehensive of physical and emotional changes.

It’s important to establish their body isn’t shameful, especially their private parts, says Eleanor Weekes, supervisor of Therapy Services at Community Partners, a Palm Beach County nonprofit funded by Children’s Services Council. “The earlier you start, the less stigma there will be.”

2. WHAT'S THE BEST APPROACH?

Eventually, when you notice changes associated with puberty, maintaining open and non-confrontational dialogue is key, she says.

“Let your child know what they are experiencing is part of their developmental process and that everyone goes through it,” she say. “If there are hygiene issues, depending on what it is, you should take that opportunity to teach your child how best to care for their bodies.”

3. HOW TO EASE THOSE TALKS?

Weekes reminds parents it’s vital to keep an open mind when talking with your children about sexual health and puberty.

“In general, if parents have an open relationship talking with their kids about their bodies when they are young and they keep talking with them, it makes it easier to have these conversations with them as they get older,” she says.

You might want to remind your children that nobody, including close friends and relatives, may touch their private parts, according to HealthyChildren.org.  The exceptions are doctors and nurses during exams and parents when trying to find the cause of any pain in the genital area.

SOURCES:

• Eleanor Weekes, supervisor, Therapy Services, Community Partners
KidsHealth
healthychildren.org

Back to listing

For a listing of all resources, click here.
Additional Resources
You May Also Enjoy
  • Six tips for fostering healthy conversation on tough topics

    Sometimes it can be hard to know where to start when having a difficult or awkward conversation with your kids. These tips may help.

  • One third of children experience bullying

    A key part of bullying prevention is encouraging children to stand up, not only for themselves, but also for others, experts say.

  • Is your 5- to 8-year-old getting enough sleep?

    Ten to 13 hours a day, including naps, are recommended for 5-year-olds, while 6- to 8-year-olds should get from nine to 12 hours.