Ages 9-11: Friendships, independence become important

As parents, we often hear the term ‘developmental milestones’ and understand it’s important our children hit these markers at key moments of growth. But what exactly do child development specialists mean by that phrase – especially as children get older and milestones are tougher to notice?

Children in late elementary school, around ages 9 to 11, start gaining a sense of responsibility about now – and a growing desire for independence. Also, physical changes of puberty might begin to arise, especially in girls.

Other key developmental milestones

  • Forming stronger, more complex friendships and peer relationships. It becomes more emotionally important to have friends, especially of the same gender.
  • Experiencing more peer pressure.
  • Becoming more aware of their body as puberty approaches. Body image and eating problems may start around this age.
  • Facing more academic challenges at school.
  • Becoming more independent from the family.
  • Beginning to understand others’ points of view.
  • Attention span increases.

For more advice on helping your child transition to middle school, sign up or log in to EveryParent below.

Got a 4 year old? Sign up for free VPK!

Voluntary pre-kindergarten (VPK) is a FREE program for all 4-years-olds who are residents in the state of Florida. The goal is to prepare children for school before they enter the formal school setting. Children receive 540 instructional hours in a year, and each class is limited to 20 students. Instructors must have a Birth through Five Florida Child Care Professional Credential and complete special training on early literacy performance standards. Classes typically begin in August.

Some programs are offered full time during the summer, which is a perfect way to help your child transition to school. Children who attend a summer VPK program receive 300 instructional hours, and each class is limited to 12 students. Instructors must have a Bachelor’s degree. Classes typically being in June. 

School-year or summer VPK is a great opportunity for 4 year olds to get ready academically, socially and emotionally for kindergarten. Families can register online or in person.

To learn more about Florida’s VPK program ...

  • Visit the Early Learning Coalition of Palm Beach County’s site here.
  • Read more on the state’s Office of Early Learning here.

For more tips on preparing your child for school, sign up or log in to EveryParent below.

Got a high schooler? Watch, listen and act

Just as you may have noticed changes in your child’s behavior during the big jump from elementary to middle school, be prepared for more when transitioning to high school. Experts advise parents give their teens some space and step in if they need support.

How, you may wonder? Here are 3 key strategies:

  1. Ask specific questions. Try asking, “Who did you sit with at lunch? Or, "Did anything funny happen today?” says Terri Mortensen of the Faulk Center for Counseling in Boca Raton.
  2. Try to detect stress. Tune into your child. “If they seem withdrawn, sad or stressed out, if they used to be in sports but don’t want to do that anymore, there may be an issue with their peers,” Mortensen says. When stressed, children are more likely to act differently — rather than talk about it, says Sarah Siciliano-Hartt, a child psychologist in Boca Raton. Attentive parents will notice changes in behavior, ask questions and take action.
  3. Be ready to listen. Eat together whenever you can to encourage natural conversation. “You might not be talking directly about issues you or – they – are worrying about, but if something is going on, you’ll know,” says Deborah Newell of Community Partners. An important talk doesn’t necessarily need a lot of time. “If your child needs you, give them two or three minutes now,” she adds. “If you constantly tell them, ‘Later, not right now,’ that’s when they develop patterns of interrupting, or they start acting up to get your attention. I wish I had known that when I was raising kids.”

For more strategies on helping your teen transition to high school, sign up or log in to EveryParent below.

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